Monday, May 30, 2005

Hey Sug, what'd you do on the weekend?

A rare pictorial insight into S&S's life and dealings...

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Fads + Quizzes = SUDOKU!

Now I’m not sure if you’ve all been keeping up with the latest trends*, but Sudoku is like the newest and best thing in the world of fads and quizzes.

For those of you that have just tuned into The Missing Ingredient I am totally a fad and quizzes bitch.



- in my youth I had;
o Collette style bike shorts and a Hypercolour t-shirt,
o a Cabbage Patch Doll,
o a Bug Catcher,
o a Rigadoon,
o a ra-ra skirt,
o a Crimper… and many other fabulous and eventually irrelevant/embarrassing products.

BTW, how totally cool was I?!


- in the present I have;
o often listened to a super quiz on talk back radio (at midnight)
o spent my working hours deliberating over comical pop-culture email quizzes
o spent Saturday afternoons doing the 9 letter word target in The Age
o dragged my friends and neighbours to Trivia Night’s at various pubs
o in times of unemployment bought That's Life! magazine to enter in Quiz Competitions

See how I love them both!

So it’s inevitable that I become obsessed with Sudoku. This is really my first dabbling with a number quiz, but I’ve had a go and I think I’ll be ok with that. Hey – I did study Calculus and Statistics at Uni for 4 years, surely this will present no challenge for a person with my untouchable capabilities. Whahahahahaa.

Anyway, so if you’ve missed the hype what you’ll get is this:

And what you need to do is make sure every 3 by 3 box, every complete column and every complete row has every number from 1 – 9 in it, no repeats (obviously). Easy, huh?! No freakin’ way! Plus as you get better there are different levels! Sick.

So you get it. And all this talking about it is making my feet want to move towards the lunch room and hunt down today’s puzzle… when you’ve got an itch scratch it, I say…

*the Herald Scum had a big article telling us that it’s a trend, ergo…

Monday, May 16, 2005

Hello, it's me! Remember me? You know from the other place...

I have frequented a café near my house for the last 4 years. I love it, it’s my favourite and the coffee is second to none. The whole time I’ve been going there the staff has always had the same core crew.

Today I went to my favourite sandwich place that’s close to work for lunch and lo and behold one of the ‘core crew’ was in there making sandwiches and serving people.

Before I continue, here are some important points:
1. My fave café isn’t open on Monday’s – so she’s within her rights to be working somewhere else
2. The ‘core crew’ are a little… how can I put this politely?... a little ‘left of centre’. Ok, they’re down right kooky, just like the Adams family, but with coffee and Lebanese food.
3. I ate at the café yesterday and interacted numerous times with said staff member.
4. She has, more than once, complimented me on my fine choice of outfit.*

Awkwardly it was my turn to be served and ‘she-of-the-café was free. I greeted her with a warm “Hi!” and was met with that look of recognition shrouded by an uncomfortable I’m-going-to-pretend-i-don’t-know-you-let’s-just-get-this-over-and-done-with look.

She made my sandwich post haste and with minimal eye contact. By this time I was beginning to feel a little “less-special”. My café person pretended not to know me! I mean, sure we weren’t at the place where we normally interact, but surely you’re allowed to interact other places. The guy that makes the coffee always says hello to me when I see him down the street. But nuthin’. She gave me nuthin’.

She thrust my slapped together sandwich at me and before I could make a clever quip about Moonlighting, had taken my exact change and moved onto the next customer.

The worst bit is now it’s going to be weird when I go into my café next weekend. Is it so difficult to give a little hello and throw a bit of banter about? No, I think not. This shall not deter me from my café however, in fact next time I go to my café I may just peck her on the cheek and slap her ass like we’ve been friends forevs. Heh heh heh.

*this point was more so you all know I can be a smart dresser.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

My Bro

Hi, sorry for my absence. I’ve been preoccupied and although I don’t want to go one about it (because there’s already a master at work) I am a massive a BigBrotherophile. I love it. I always have. And this year is shaping up to be stupendous.

My faves:

G-Dog as Michael has so aptly endowed upon her is ultimately great. I can’t wait until she puts all this talk of getting someone sloshed and shaggin’ them. Male or female. She’s tops.

A most divine case of “never thinks before talking” and apparently she doesn’t even think about it after she’s said it. This makes me love her more. She’s from Melbourne and I plan on stalking her at some point and making her my friend.

It’s a given that I should like the rabid lefty. He, as Jessausculture has pointed out, is obviously fucking with the more dim witted contestants heads and for this I love him. And apparently hung like a camel.

This one is just full of little gems of intellect. And when I say gems of intellect I jest, because she’s obviously as intelligent as the tiding of magpies that scare Kate (or as some clever kids have dubbed her “Birdcunt” – pure poetry). Her sweet idiocy is not annoying, however, because it makes her refreshingly honest and not as stuck up as I thought she’d be when declaring herself “The Package”, which I think is just a low-self confidence thing.

My not-at-all-faves:

This one is a dick of great proportions, because she tells us that she’s intelligent, but still cannot seem to stop gazing at herself in the mirror like she’s never seen a reflection (yet, she claims to have studied physics). I think she’s that girl in year 8 that used to sit and bitch about everyone and then say, “if they’ve got something mean to say about me, I just wish they’d say it to my face. Stupid bitches. And like she’s got the worst skin, I can’t believe Darren’s going out with her, I’m going to break them up, so he’ll go out with me.” and so on and so forth. I knew these girls (pent up adolescent issues much?) and they are not cool.

OK. Michelle is obviously a Witch. And not one of those I-have-crystals-and-do-love-spells Witch, but a we-should-burn-her-at-the-stake Witch. I’m not sure why I hate her like I do, perhaps it’s her mouth, it looks like it could spit venom. Or her eyebrows. When will chicks learn no eyebrows is less cute and more evil? Yes, even when you draw them back on. Be grateful she’s in the house parents, but when she’s let out be sure to lock up your children before she swoops down and eats them.

I generally like the others. I like it when I get to hear Glenn talk because I didn’t think people honestly spoke like that anymore – and I’m from the country! I like that everyone hates Kate. I like that Angela is an honest bitch. I like Nelson because he farts and annoys Kate, but he gets a massive strike because he’s a Johnny-lover, and people like him should be kicked in the nuts. I like that Michael has a huge boner crush on Geneva because maybe I do too. I like that there are 2 Logans, but really that’s the only thing saving him/them at the moment. Hotdogs and Dean I don’t care about, except that Hotdog’s is a crap nickname and Dean is obviously all talk.

Have I missed anyone? If so they obviously don’t stir anything from within, therefore do not deserve a serve on TMI.

Thank you and happy watching.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Shake 'em, bake 'em... Texas style

I just found this little nugget in The Age.

It seems that the House of Reps in that law hungry state of Texas have put a ban on cheerleaders "shaking booty" during their routines.

Some highlights for mine are:
  • "People are calling and telling me how disgusting it is to see sexually suggestive routines on the part of marching units or cheerleaders" (Al Edwards, Houston State Rep., bill sponsorer) Marching units? That's some sweet multi-tasking. I used to play the clarinet in Band at high school (shut up!), granted it wasn't a marching unit, but it never crossed my mind to 'shake it'.
  • "He (Al) complained of cheerleaders 'shaking their behinds, breaking it down'" Maybe i had Al all wrong, he seems totally wit all da new fangled kidspeak. Break it down, Al! Boo-yow!

At least there's Senfronia Thompson, a Democratic Rep also of Houston, who said "the bill was a waste of valuable time." Werd, Senfronia.

Personally I can't think of anyone that comes from Texas that would be a booty shaker, aren't they all riding horses and shootin' stuff that moves? oh, wait...