Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Lucky Toby's not the Easter Bunny


So the Easter Bunny makes me shake in my boots, but this little bunny is far too cute to make me squirm, plus there's a chance he'll die on June 30th, so i'm not really that threatened.

My birthday is in April and I think the savetoby.com hooded jumper is exactly what i need. Don't you?

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

What makes me crap my cottontails?

I may have mentioned this before, but the season is right for me to emphasise the point…

I am actually Easter-Bunnyphobic. There I’ve said it.

It’s creepy. Let’s recap: It’s a big rabbit that comes into the house and leaves chocolate for kids. Tell me that in this day and age that would not sort of be considered an offence.

It frightens the crap out of me. As a child I had reoccurring nightmares of a huge pink rabbit with crazy eyebrows, blood shot eyes and razor sharp steel teeth coming for me in my sleep. Sometimes, especially around this time of year, I still have that dream.

Mostly I don’t get scared of things coming into my house and eating me. But you see the Easter Bunny is ALLOWED to come into your house. You’re parents actually endorse it. Not like a Vampire that has to be INVITED into your house, or Santa who has that delightful chimney shtick.

Also the chocolate thing. Look, I’m not against chocolate, but we’re not best mates. It kinda makes me feel phlegmy and blagh. However, I’m a girl and sometimes there is no choice but to eat chocolate phlegm or no phlegm (how good is that word to write)… Annnyway, Easter Bunny, you win no favours by bestowing chocolate upon me.

A picture speaks a thousand words right? Well, let’s journey through “Scary Easter Bunny”


this is scary for different reasons


this is the shit i'm talking about. in my head he's thinking "i'm going to eat this baby, bonnet and all."


argh!


and apparantly EB is a dealer to the kids in school

Monday, March 21, 2005

Weekends are like a box of Futtersticks, ya never know what you're gunna get

But really I just wanted to use this picture:



So many adventures over the weekend. It makes it hard to decide what to share with you, my adoring fans. Hell, why not just spill all…

St. Paddy’s
Thursday night was St Patrick’s Day. I took Friday off, thus my weekend begins here.

If you’re an avid reader you’ll know that I ditched the drink for a month and have only recently jumped back on the Wagon. The end was conveniently wrapped up the day before St Patrick’s Day (as my non-drinking buddy is Irish by trade).

I’ve never done a Paddy’s before. It was… hmmm, I need to pick an adjective… Jolly? Jiggy? Drunken? Green? Bozoville-esk? Guinnessy?... you get the picture.

I ACTUALLY had a good night, despite getting pissed really easily, dancing to bad 90’s pop songs and love ballads and developing a thick Irish accent.

Flying
On Friday I slept a lot in the sun. Yay!

You guys should totally get a friend that’s a photographer and has to do aerial shots all over the city on clear blue sky days. Especially when he does them on a day you’ve taken off and asks you to come along.

Yeah, Friday afternoon I played spot you’re place of work from 3 000 feet up. It was so cool.

Poison running through my… digestive system
I’ve never had food poisoning before. I totally had it after eating at one of my most trusted Vic St establishments on Friday night (don’t worry, it’s not a duck place). It’s now been Blacklisted. Shame, shame.

Lucky for my flatmates they went away or else they could have listened to me scream in pain and terror for most of the night. Not pretty.

The positives of having Food Poisoning for a Food Scientist like myself is that you get to endlessly amuse yourself by pondering what has poisoned you, where it came from and what kind of symptoms you will encounter next! I’ve narrowed it down to two likelies: Bacillus cereus from the rice, or Salmonella from the chicken (most probably a cross contamination). Either way it wasn’t cool.

Image
I look way different now than the last time you saw me (assuming you’ve seen me before and you haven’t seen me since Saturday).

I used to have blond curly hair. Now I have strait almost black hair.

It’s totally hip. Volka the German cut it for me. It cost me a lot of money.

I’ve spent today delighting in confusing my colleagues!

Hot Stuff
Totally hooked up with Hotty McHott for some coffeein’, hangin’, and moviein’. I was introduced to the wonders of Pedro Amaldovar through Bad Education. Go and see it its WAY good.


Revisiting the past
Before the no drinking thing I used to go out stacks. Especially on a Saturday. So I hooked up wit me boyz and we drank.

Did you know that if you live a life of sobriety you’re levels of alcohol tolerance are lowered? It’s true.

I could go on here, but let’s just say I might stick with moderation for a little longer and build up my former iron liver*.

Sunday = watching The Soprano’s Season 2 + feeling sorry for yourself + feeling sorry for others + making your mum feel sorry for you and buying you dinner.

Phew! It was a long one. And next week’s is going to be even longer! Fully.

*Isn’t that right Dark Cloud

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Playing Grown-Ups

Last night I transformed into a grown up. At least for the night anyway.

But let’s go back. Way back. Back to where it all began.

*que wobbly lines down the screen*

*do-looldo-do, do-looldo-do, do-looldo-do, do-looldo-do*

Once I had this hair-brained scheme to stop drinking FOR A WHOLE MONTH and do my health and prosperity good. Phew, am I glad that’s over! That’s right blogfans I’m officially back on the Wagon. Wanna catch up for a drink?

The end of such a feat must be celebrated in style. So last night I dressed up like a grown up and ate and drank like I had a money tree. Like bloggers before me, people, last night I entered the Pearlzone.

I washed my hair, slipped on my party dress and stepped into my boots, I may have even worn a little make-up.

My partner in sabbatical crime and I were ushered to our table. I’m pretty sure we were the only two people in the restaurant wearing colour. I’m also pretty sure the waiters thought we were a little mental OR incredibly cute the way our eye’s were the size of saucepans while we scaled the wine list and joked about ordering the $710 bottle of Champagne. Ha! I’m sure no one’s ever done that before! What a hoot! We did however settle on a lovely glass of fruity Denmark Sauvignon Blanc and a bottle of 2003 Margaret River Shiraz. AND it wasn’t even the cheapest bottle there. In fact I’ve never bought a bottle of wine that’s that expensive, like ever. So totally liberating. You should try it.

THEN we had to decide what to eat. OMG! Wait, this even deserves the complete wording… Oh my Goht! Here look at it yourself. I know. Hot, no?

We started with freshly schucked oysters on ice with lemon. Then I had coconut caramel roast pork chop. Glenn had white rabbit with chicory and caramelised onions. Then we had warm chocolate pudding with white chocolate ice-cream and a bitter-sweet chocolate sauce.

Yeah, I know. Fucking ah-some.

The Oysters
Try and describe oysters. It’s hard. But for youse I’ll do my best.

These were so schuckin’ good. You could still taste the sea. These were oysters that were treated wit respec’ yo, no temperature abuse – these puppies were chillin’. They were a little sweet and teensy bit bitter and with just a metallic tweak at the end. Yuuuum! Put a little lemon on those babies and slip ‘em down your gullet!

My Pork
You know how pork can be dry really easily? Not here. You know how you have apple sauce on the side? Well, how about adding a little celeriac to a bit of shredded apple to tide over some of the sweetness and then adding a tweak of lime and coconut! Take that apple sauce! Yeah! THEN why don’t you make the skin so crispy it bubbles in your mouth as you chomp down? Good idea – coz that’s when a pork chop will taste so good that you’ll dream about it.

Glenn’s Rabbit
Glenn got the rabbit because he’d never had rabbit before (helps that it sounded fucking ah-some too) for this reason I like him a little more today than I did yesterday, awww.

Little wheels of rabbit and bacon delights with chicory, spinach and caramelised onion, topped off with a rich rabbit liver. This went so incredibly well with the wine. I was jealous.

Chocolate Pudding with White Chocolate Ice-cream anyone?
The pudding was so freakishly light that if I’d have sneezed it probably would have smacked the stylish couple on the table next to me in the face (not a loss in itself really).

Rich. Yum!
White Chocolate ice-cream. Yum!
Fudgy, saucy goodness in the middle. YUM!


Dessert was followed by coffee.

Smiles were hard to shift. Asses were hard to shift (this could be due to ‘I’m such a girl when it comes to drinking at the moment, due to NO ALCOHOL FOR A MONTH’). There was not a smattering of regret when the bill arrived. We payed like grown ups and joyfully floated out the door.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Wang

This weekend i'm going to Wangaratta.

Yep, i'm going to torture myself by going to the Food and Wine festival up there and go on bike tours through the wineries. Let's all keep in mind that I'm NOT DRINKING at the moment (roll on Wednesday). My Homie and i have decided not to skip the whole wine tasting though. We're going to utilise the spit buckets! Yay! Think how pompous and toffee nosed we'll seem! Great! What I don't consume in wine i'll be sure to make up for in chesse.

i've never been to Wang before. So I google imaged it. Let's find out together what I'm in for through a commical narative.

"Whoa, look Glenn we're almost there."



"Yay! But wait we're in the car... Fuck i wish i'd had that cd player fixed this week!"

"Hey don't spoil the magic of the train images. We're here at the station!"



"Fine. Let's go check in."



"Oh sweet! A pool and '90's decor! Now what?"

"Let's go check out the sites, sounds and folk."

"Good idea Glenn"



"Hey, Sugar. It's the Mayor!"

"Nice. Dig the way she blends into the background."

"Yeah, nice effect."

"Whoa! Churches!"









"Love Churches!"

"Yeah, they rule. Pity you're not religious."

"Ha! Yeah."


"Sick, look how much fun they're having at the school!"



"Don't you wish you were 8 again Sug?"

"Fully. But maybe just for a day, because... look at the wild and crazy bunch you can meet when you grow up and get to go to Centrelink in Wang!"





"Ha! Wacky hair. They all look related."

"Yeah... wacky. True 'bout the related bit too"

"I'm tired let's sit."

"Fully."



"Hey Glenn, have you noticed how sporty everyone is around here?"

*Sugar and Glenn look left*



*Sugar and Glenn look right*



"Yeah they seem really active. It's making me hungry. Let's eat."

"Don't have to ask me twice, did you bring your Good Food Guide?"

"Crap I forgot, we'll just have to wing it."

"This place looks... like it has food in it."


"Hi, Glenn and Sugar."

"Oh, hi guys. Sorry wrong place."

*escapes eatery*

"Burr. It's getting cold. Looks like there's a storm a brewin'."



"Let's get fish and chips and watch in house movies. We'll smoke... cigarettes... and giggle like girls."

"Sounds good Sugar. Happy long weekend!"

"Yeah, happy long weekend."

*breaths in country air*

Friday, March 04, 2005

So what’s up with you?

It’s been a while since we caught up huh? I’ve been real busy at work. My phone’s been ringing off the hook. My email account is choc-a-block. I’ve been attending meetings like they’re going out of style. It’s no excuse for neglecting you though. Here’s some stuff I’ve been doing lately:

Sabbatical
Yeah, still truckin’ along with this one. it’s been 2 and a half weeks now. It’s all down hill from here on in. I went out to my pub last Saturday for some hotness’s birthday. I smoked a lot of cigarettes, but not a drop past my lips. My friend Jack who works The Corner berated Glenn and me for our wholesomeness and mocked us when we asked him to make us a non-alcoholic cocktail (get it, mocked... yeah whatever).

It’s nice to know most of my friends like me even when I’m not drunk. I’ve still been invited places and offered juice. My parents were dubious that I could pull this off (thanks, supporting role models), but I’m proving them wrong rather nicely. I think deep down they’re proud.

Cooking
I’ve been cooking more. I think this is because I’m not drunk all the time, coupled with the want to impress my new house mates and warrant the use of Global knife set (no, you can’t have it when I die). I’ve been dabbling in Moroccan, Italian and Asian fairs mostly. I’ve even started taking home doggy bags of spices for personal use, which I’ve been talking about doing since I started working for a spice company 9 months ago. Hey, it’s like a baby. Wait, no it’s not. That was weird, now I feel awkward and need to change subject to cover up my tomfoolery…

Holly Golightly and Kurt Wagner
Tonight I’m going to see Holly. I’m very excited because I think her a delightful chanteuse. Before she comes on I’m probably going to clasp my hands together and giggle from the bubbles in my tummy.

THEN on Tuesday I’m going to see Kurt Wagner and his merry men (or as some like to call it, Lambchop). I like Lambchop a lot. They’re smooth in a country kinda way and Kurt’s voice is a little like caramel coated chocolate. He’s done some work with Neko Case and that makes him a good bloke in my book.

…. My emails are coming in again, oops, and there’s the phone.

*hi, can you hold for a minute. thanks*

so, I’d best be off. Have a great weekend and I hope to catch up again soon.

Peace, yo
Sugar

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Martha, Martha, Martha

I’ve seen the devil and her name is Martha.



What is with Martha Stewart? You remember her right? She was banged up in jail for pulling a swifty with some of her many millions of dollars. I’m not going to pretend to know all the ins and outs because I’m not a great follower of this story. However this article piqued my interest. It’s a wonderful example how PR and advertising can rot your brain.

A few things disturb me about this:

1. Apparently she’s flourished in jail. In fact, I’m even considering muckin’ about with the share market for my own personal gain so that I can get in there and get some perspective on life, loose 20 pounds and teach my fellow inmates on the pleasures of decoupage. Just think how pretty those bars could look with a lovely floral motif.
2. Martha has 2 up and coming shows upon her release. Yeah. Two. One in the style of Donald Trumps - The Apprentice. Do people really want to be a jailbird’s protégé? Well, yes it seems so. One woman interviewed for the article/propaganda piece had waited outside the jail since 5 am to audition. Scary much?
3. A character from Desperate Housewives has actually been modelled on Martha. The little conspiracy theory part of my brain is saying “Hmmm, I wonder if this is a little ploy by the TV big wigs to try and win Martha back into our homes?” Surely they’re not that sneaky though (… that was me being snide).

Annnyway, she’ll be out soon and fortunately here in Aus we won’t see much of her apart from the initial media frenzy.

The mind still boggles though how fucked up some stuff is.