Monday, February 21, 2005

Would you like Balls with your Burger?

How well do we really know our pets?

We know we love them and that they love us because we give them food and let them sleep on our bed.

I have a silky black kitten, Burger*, that is morphing from Junior Burger into Whopper Burger. Through this tumultuous time of change I have realised I didn’t know my baby as well as I thought I had. Like any parent with an adolescent I’m a little taken aback by the development process.

Take for example yesterday when my neighbour announced to me that my beautiful baby girl, is in fact A BOY! Wtf?! When did this happen. She’d… sorry, he’d been a girl for the last 5 months. Even the Vet had said she *tisk* he was a girl. Nonetheless my neighbour flashed Burger’s recently dropped testes in my general direction. My little girl had indeed become a man.

It explains a lot. She was always quite boisterous as a girl. I though she was just a bit of a tomboy, mixin’ it wit da boyz, just like her ol’ mum. Little did I know she was indeed (and is) one of da boyz. Weird.

Now I feel like our whole relationship has changed. I’m the eldest child of an all female family, what do I know about raising a boy? Have my months of calling him a beautiful girl resulted in gender-confusion? Or has it made him into a bit of a SNAC (sensitive new aged cat), a real pussy magnet? Last night I even started calling him ‘mate’, in the hope that he’d feel more blokey. My relationships with the male species leaves somewhat to be desired, how do I know this relationship won’t be any different?

Oh! Have I failed as a mother? I mean I didn’t even realise she was a he! In my own defence, how often do I go around gazing at my cat’s supposed non-existent nads? If anything that makes me more normal, right?

Oh! Woe is me.

*she… damn it! I mean, he’s named Burger because in the light her… fuck… his glistening coat has a tint of Burgundy. Plus it also goes delightfully well with my food thang.


Blogger la nadine said...

your gender-confused cat, burger, should meet my sister's gay cat, pumpkin.

what a beautiful relationship pumpkin and burger could have.

2:14 pm  
Blogger sugar and spice said...

pumpkin, burger and a hot tub. mee-ow.

2:28 pm  
Blogger fluffy said...

zippy is gay too. and cat-curious.

9:41 pm  
Blogger Ukulele said...

I once had a cat named Stella who became a Miles after Stella dropped some Maltesers from her ‘special place’. I was worried about raising a boy but at least I didn’t have to worry about pregnancy, going on heat, more kittens etc. It was a blessed thing and a beautiful relationship.

2:33 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i am wery distraught about this news. clementine will not be happy, im sure.

atlas now has a real life mini-me.

woe is you and me both.
oh nooooooo. stop it!

love afar

9:53 am  
Blogger fluffy said...

sugar i have questions.

the tiny man is into hard boiled eggs, mostly because he has a egg cup in the shape of Noddy and another in the shape of Big Ears. at least one a day. his hard boiled daddy strongly suggests 2 a week is about right for egg consumption. more would be "dangerous cholesterol intake". try telling daddy about "dangerous alcohol intake"! but i digress.

how many eggs is too many?

also, yesterday two stoner friends were discussing the new police breath testing device for marijuana. One suggests chewing mint fools the device, the other says its a quick swish with vinegar, which would suggest the device tests for pH. what say ye?

2:29 pm  
Blogger sugar and spice said...

i'm there fluffs.

await with bated breath my posts on all things egg and gunge

3:02 pm  
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