Wednesday, February 02, 2005


We’ve all heard of Botox right?

It’s something the rich and bored inject into their faces to look smooth and wrinkle free.

It’ll turn you from this:

into this:

Last night, watching The O.C. and Desperate Housewives I noticed that very rarely did any of the females foreheads moved.


What's wrong Terri?... wait is there something wrong? i can't tell.

Pretty sure Marcia has had her whole face done

This blonde one freaked me out the most

Throughout my night in front of the box I went through differing fits of emotions:

1) Excitement.
I’ve been somewhat entranced by the Botox revolution since I first heard of it. I believe it had to do with the fact that I became aware of it when I was at Uni and studying canning, (bare with me, this will all make sense).

You see Botox is a toxin that is produced by the worlds most evil of microbes Clostridium botulinum. It’s hard to kill. It is heat resistant, it won’t grow in the presence of oxygen and you only need the tinniest amount to become as stiff as a board (dead, that is). What’s a perfect condition then for this little miracle? The inside of a can.

Food Techies, like myself, are fearful of Cl. botulinum. If there’s an outbreak of botulism from your miscalculation people will die rather swiftly. It’s the toxin that governments are worried will be added to water supplies, killing millions, from just 1mL of toxin in a damn.

So, you can see why when I see famous people injecting themselves with the Botox, I become a little excited. It’s fraught with danger! It’s like deciding that sitting in a tub full of funnel web spiders is good for your aura.

2) Wonderment
Wonderment, because in a whole night of television I think I saw maybe 3 women’s forehead move. Seriously. I frustrated my fellow onlookers by screaming at the television all night: “There’s something wrong with that woman’s face… it’s not moving!”; “Holy shit, there’s another one!”; “they’re all so surprised – all the time.”

3) Frustration
How can these women call themselves actors when they’re limiting their facial expressions? They’re perpetually surprised! Never an angry furrowed brow, never a crease of sadness, never an exaggerated raise of the eyebrow. It began to annoy me.

And they all began to look a little cat like. Which is just freaky. Why can’t we all just grow old gracefully and deal with the fact that as you get older you skin looses it’s youthful smoothness and takes on a few esteemed knowledge lines?


Blogger Lushlife said...

Yes well it is scary and particularly so when the friends I went to Uni with then 20 years later start contemplating this stuff. I have alwasy thought I wouldn't do it (easy when you don't have a wrinkle) but then what if all of them start doing it and what if they actually do start looking better and I am the ONLY wrinkly one. I never gave into peer group pressure in my teens, my twenties, my early thirties, but my late thirties? I need support to withstand the pressure I do want to grow old gracefully. Thank goodness for actresses like Annette Benning if only there were more role models out there for growing older naturally.

10:42 am  
Blogger Ukulele said...

My plastic surgery radar is out of whack apparently. I lived with a gay guy for just short of 3 years until December last year who I only found out was a regular participator in the pleasure of botulism. I didn’t realise and was berated by other gay folk for not noticing that he never smiled or frowned.

11:01 am  
Blogger Ukulele said...

Suge, go here:

11:02 am  
Blogger sugar and spice said...

keep the dream alive lush. don't do toxins.

ukelele: rules!

12:09 pm  
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