Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Dear Dairy

As soon as someone starts to waffle on about how their Naturopath told them that they shouldn’t eat anything with gluten in it and that dairy is the root of all evil, my blood begins to boil. I don’t know why, but for some reason Naturopaths have decided that dumping these two things from your daily intake will suddenly cure all – sure, why not.

I understand that people do have reactions to these things. And my heart goes out to the poor kittens, because it’d be no fun. There’s the bloating, and the gas, and the aching, and the nausea… the list goes on. But surely not everyone is allergic to both gluten and dairy?!

First I’d like to plead the case for dairy. Because things like this make me sick and depressed.

So we’re on the same page you should know that I don’t really like dairy foods. I’ve never been a milk drinker and if I have a massive milkshake I feel a little queasy. So, it’s not like I’ve got my sista’s back, yo, more like my ugly cousin needs a reference.

We are all a little lactose intolerant. Lactose is the sugary component of dairy. To break down lactose we need lactase, an enzyme. As infants we have a plentiful amount of lactase. As we grow the ability to produce lactase decreases. Presumably this is because we absolutely must have dairy as children to get enough calcium for growing bodies. And dairy is one of the best known sources of calcium. As we grow older we have less of a need for calcium because our bones are not growing as much (although we will always need it for other bio-reactions). We still, though, possess enough lactase to see us through.

My point though is very few Australians are completely intolerant of lactose. Other cultures are more intolerant. Asian and Aboriginal cultures are particularly intolerant. And damn it they have the right to be! Dairy has only very recently been introduced to their diet. They don’t have the biological systems set up to deal with it. However, they get their calcium (and other dairy attributes) from other sources. Their calcium source depends mainly on eating bones, either directly or through stocks.

Let’s discuss why you need dairy.

It contains calcium. We all know why that’s good, especially for children. We always need a top up though, osteoporosis is no fun.

Commercial milk contains about 4% fat. That means it’s 96% fat free. Most companies would kill to have a product that’s 96% fat free. So why the big deal with having skinny milk all the time?

Not only that, but when we cut out the fat we’re cutting out essential and beneficial fatty acids, these fatty acids are important for both the brain and the heart. They have actually been shown to lower cholesterol levels. So drink the good shit, otherwise you’re just cutting out the ace stuff. Plus full cream tastes better.

Like I said. I’m not mad about dairy, but I LOOOOOVE cheese. Cheese and I have been together for a long time, and it’s one of my most stable relationships. I have blogged about cheese before, but it’s great, so whatevs.

Cheese is fat and protein. There’s no getting around this. And if I met you and you said you eat low fat cheese, please forgive me for punching you in the temples. Cheese is like concentrated milk, therefore the goodness is also concentrated. Eat cheese.

Yogurt is great, although I get sick of yogurt fairly easily. The added bonus of this is that it has the happy bacteria in it. In your intestines there is a couple of kilo’s of bacteria (it’s ok, they’re supposed to be there). Some are good, some are evil. Yogurt will supply the good ones to keep the evil ones at bay. If you’re on anti-biotics it’s a good idea to eat some yogurt to get the good bacteria in there so the evil bacteria doesn’t get a leg up.

I hope our journey into the world of dairy has enlightened you and set your mind at ease. Now, if you ever order a soy latte in front of me you’ll understand why I won’t talk to you and flick ash in your coffee.


Blogger la nadine said...

yogo girlfriend!

10:20 am  
Blogger Lee Lee said...

Peter G'day Russell G'day Clark was a childhood icon of mine all because of the cheese.

Why does icecream hurt my tummy though?

11:28 am  
Blogger sugar and spice said...

ice-cream is a funny one.

it contains the least amount of lacotse of all the dairy products. you know how you get grainy ice-cream if it's really cheap? well that's the lactose crystalising, so they try and break down as much lactose as possible before churning the ice-cream.

my only suggestion is that the coldness of the ice-cream is slowing the bio-reactions and slowing down the breakdown of lactose that is still present in the ice-cream. and you're suffering for it. but that's only a guess.

but it's worth it right?

12:05 pm  
Blogger Lee Lee said...

Just reconsidered this and I think the reason is that I perhaps OVER eat it, which is the causing of the pain.

But either way, you are smart and dish good advice.

I too long for the S&S vs. Dr. Aitkens Smackdown. Please don’t forget to mention that nasty ketosis caused by low carbs.

12:19 pm  
Blogger daniel said...

Witty and informative at the same time. You the best sugar.

And i'm totally down with what you say. I heart dairy and gluten.

1:21 pm  
Blogger Jay said...

Ms. Egan,

People in states are gluttons. It's not dairy they fear. It's carbs. Frankly, they are all idiots, so I don't really care how you tell them off. -- Did you get my package?

3:10 pm  
Blogger sugar and spice said...

Mr. Carlson,

The Carb post is eminent.

Rest assured i have much to say on the issue.

Glad to see you could drop in again. i did indeed recieve your package. there were squeals of excitment and after opening said package the squeals were warranted.

i am planning the next installment as we speak. it may take time, but i have a day off next week, so hopefully i'll be able to do a little work on it then.

AND when, Mr. Carlson, will you be contributing to your very own blog?? you know you want to... you're just itchin' to get back on the internerd, i can tell. it's in your blood.

join us on the dark side.

3:54 pm  
Blogger la nadine said...

i offer you the full services of the carb army to protect you against any blogbashing from insane no-carb defenders.

3:59 pm  
Blogger sugar and spice said...

i wouldn't take anything they say seriously anyway la nadine. the poor darlings are starving and delirious.


4:08 pm  
Blogger Buck Fudd said...

Jeez, talk about syncronicity. Knifey's done a post about dairy food today as well:

7:32 pm  
Blogger Sherriff said...

That post really moo-ved me me.

9:16 am  
Blogger Lee Lee said...

What is slow food and why is a new buzz word for foody types?

8:45 am  
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