Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Big, black, mean ol' Question Mark

Picture this:

Endless ice chilled beers that you simply MUST use a Kalimna stubbie holder for.
Dog-eared book beside you ready to be picked up again.
Waves rolling around just over that thare sand dune.
A gentle sway of the boat that you don’t notice until you’ve been on land for half an hour and realise your brain’s still swaying.
The thought that the only thing you may have to do that day is walk to the toilets or get more fetta stuffed peppers for the “nibblies” plate.

Then at night you’d see ALL the stars. ALL of them.

Yeah, I know… I could almost go for a nap too.

This has been my life for the past week. It was serene. I was happy. My hair curled in the salty water, my skin cleared and bronzed (and freckled – but in that cute way) and I caught up on 6 months sleep.

I’ve been back 3 days and already I’m tired, oily, limp haired and back at work. Everything that I’d let go of during my escape is still here when I got back. Like I’d left them under my pillow and they seeped back into my brain while I was sleeping.

Bastards.

I mean they’re not Tsunami big or nuthin, but they’re still there picking away. Festering in my head.

The completely sucky bit is that I can’t even identify what ‘they’ are exactly. Unanswered questions, actions, motives? Seeds of doubt about this and that. Beginnings of plans that will probably never come to fruition.

Sometimes my life is just one big freakin’ question mark. Why can’t we just all stay on holiday’s and have to worry about is whether swimming counts for showering and if so then, cool because I haven’t showered in 3 days? We’d all be a lot calmer and fresher and our hair would look great.

Or maybe I should just quit my whining and be a real girl and put words where my big question marks are. Because I do know the words, it’s just… well… what if they rumble with the question mark and it falls on my head and I get concussion and wake up 6 years later and then my wardrobe is completely out of style? I don’t think I’m ready for that.

Don’t worry. This only makes sense to me. Well mainly me. I think I’m not as tough as I presume to be. Damn. I hate that.

5 Comments:

Blogger Lee Lee said...

It Sounds like bad case of suicide Tuesday to me.

8:53 am  
Blogger sugar and spice said...

sounds like a bad case of the sooks lee lee. i'll get over it. maybe after a bit of grog on friday. will you be there?

9:06 am  
Blogger superduster said...

It's the post holiday come down..the worst of all.
Lars SUX.

10:21 am  
Blogger sugar and spice said...

yes, superduster. no more hols = suck fest.

Lars Rulz and James is a big cry baby. and don't be messin with Lars or i'll delete your messages. two can play at that game.

p.s. welcome to the wonderful world of posting comments.

10:29 am  
Blogger Lee Lee said...

Zee Grog Blog will not see my attendance, unfortunately. I have a date with my brothers at their launch and if I don’t show up, I will be disowned. I will be city bound though, so lets sms and stuff.

4:04 pm  

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