Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Internet Dating


So if you’re having duck with a hot date that you met on the internet and two fully-dweeby-out-to-impress-middle-aged-men park next to you, whadaya tell ‘em?

Well the truth, of course. Opportunities to tell the truth this good don’t come along that often.

"I’m on a lesbian date with this hot chick I met on the internerd and I'm taking her out for her first ever duck. Oh. And that couple behind me… yeah, they’re my parents."

OK, so maybe we embellished a little with the lesbian thing. C’mon – you know you’d do it too. Otherwise…

Lee Lee and I were totally on our first date. Ever.

We did meet on the internet (not that there’s anything wrong with that).

We were eating duck AND it was Lee Lee’s virginal attempt.

And…

My parents (by pure coincidence) were sitting behind us.

The “clever” one, and I use that term loosely, guessed we were bloggers and proceeded to have a reasonable conversation, I think that involved John Safran (they’re both Jewish you see). Who coincidently I saw at The Corner later that night.

The “moron” (this term is more accurate), who was sitting next to me, didn’t really understand the conversation and kept trying to find out what our blogs were and where we worked and dazzle us with his inner Melbournite connections. Cool. We were like totally impressed. Ah… Hello, we ARE inner Melbournite connections. (I can totally get you a chef’s knife for cost price and then take you to see Sage Francis for free at The Corner). Whatever.

They made us laugh. Though more at them than with them. Cruel, heartless, wenches we are. He he he he. Hey Lee Lee, maybe if we had have stayed they’d have paid for our duck!

All in all… Best. First. Date. Ever.

26 Comments:

Blogger Lee Lee said...

You saw John Saffran afterwards? How funny coincidental and shit!

I thought about them paying as well but then considered that it would’ve involved one of us passing body fluids with the St Kilda wanker which is not worth a GAZILLION ducks from Secret Duck Place.

Um, I’m hungover.

12:07 pm  
Blogger sugar and spice said...

i drank until 1.

*breifly reflects on lifestyle*

feel fine.

12:13 pm  
Blogger sugar and spice said...

feel less fine after thinking about swapping bodily fluids with the moron.

*clutches stomach*

*runs to toilet*

12:14 pm  
Blogger daniel said...

In solidarity with your duck date i went and had duck last night too. It was so good. Sweet, juicy, tender duck flesh.

I took a photo.

12:20 pm  
Blogger sugar and spice said...

yawza. yawza. that's some hot breast of duck you had there, boud.

so sweet that you joined in on the ducking. hands across australia, hands aross australia.

12:28 pm  
Blogger Lee Lee said...

Boud, is that you pointing toward the camera with the boobies and the wife beater on?

1:24 pm  
Blogger daniel said...

Um, it might be... I'm glad to hear that Sugar and Spice kept secret the fact that i'm ACTUALLY A WOMAN!!! That man with the beard who appears in my photos is actually a friend who i exploit in order to retain my own anonymity. Don't tell anyone.

2:45 pm  
Blogger knifey said...

christ boud!
that photo looks like someone's been disembowelled onto a plate, then artfully rearranged!!! (no offence).
i bet it tasted nice though.

you other two:
sorry i didn't come, i could have hit on sleazy wanker guy, and scared the crap out of him. my carson impression is freakin fab *click* u *click*
lous *click* !!!

3:10 pm  
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What is it with duck all of a sudden?

Must find out what I'm missing out on.

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