Friday, October 29, 2004

Of Horses and Tears

The Gang are hitting the Races this weekend. The shit is likely to hit the fan and splatter all over everyone’s face.


  • Someone will cry
  • Someone will make someone cry
  • Lines will be crossed
  • There will be a lot of: bitching, alcohol, cussing
  • We will all wet our pants laughing
  • I will either: a) call in sick for work on Monday; or b) get through the day pretending I’m not in a coma to save a sick day.

It’s what happens when Melrose Place meets Thornbury – ain’t that a pretty picture.

All shall spend the weekend holding their breath for Monday's blog (assuming I can drag myself in)

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Ducking off to New York

Duck and NYC... obviously this was a good night.


In Shanghai Palace. Fake wooden floor boards (no good for walking on with outrageously hip cowboy boots), fuchsia-pink walls, a scattering of patrons. Menu offers up servings of ‘Fried Rick’ and ‘Calamari and “pre-assorted” seasonal vegetables”.

Sugar and Spice: “I’m so glad we both love duck”
G-man: “… and calamari.”
Sugar and Spice: “Yeah.”

Hot tempers were soothed by Tsing Tao Beer:
G-man “Ahhhh… Chinese beer always tastes like Heinekin.”

It’s true. But we couldn’t decide whether it was because the Chinese make it, bottle it and sell it at outrageous prices to the unsuspecting Flemish. Or whether Chinese Beer Pirates were hijacking Heine tankers and stupidly rebottling and selling on the cheap, in effect passing off the ‘hot’ beer (eww, hot beer).

So the duck was all kinds of saturated fat good. Crispy. Lardy. Goodness. But we’re biased. Maybe if I was being all bag-of-rage like I’d say it was a little dry around the edges, but I don’t blame the tastey little Mallard for that.

Next to the Calamari with “pre-assorted” seasonal vegetables it was gold.

The dumplings were also a treat, but we ate them confusedly because they came out last. Which was too much for our little ‘westernised’ brains.

New York

TV’s Kynan Barker had arranged for a spattering of intelligent, pop-culturedised, beer drinkers to partake in a comical trivia night focussed around the Big Apple. Unfortunately only Sarah Jayne Hillman-Stolz and myself were privy to the NYC theme. Alas we kicked some trivia ass.

With thanks to Maven Mia (who knew that the kid brought into Different Strokes in the last series with the bowl cut hair was called Sam… she deserves a medal) and the rest of the Knight Riders in the Sky team (I suggested Bitch Juice – but that never really took off) we pulled off the BIG PRIZE.

Big Prize? Oh yeah baby check it out

Can’t beat a night out with duck, trivia only to take home the Olsen Twins at the end of the evening. And I bet I’m not the first one to say that.

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Curried Away

last night i had curry for dinner. i cheated. generally i like to make my own stuff. i have a lot of cooking implements and want to use them, unfortunately i have to store some of it in my bedroom because our kitchen is so miniscule that preparing something may in fact cause head trauma (for those of you that have seen the cupboard/bench scenario you'll understand).

other reasons for not making the curry myself include:
  • i went to the beauty pallor last night (oh god the pain) and would have ended up eating at midnight if i had have prepared 'tall myself.
  • my mum rang me while i was in the supermarket. i was getting the low-down of my uncles' state of health after a hefty operation and didn't really want to think of too many items to purchase.
so i went ahead and bought a can (yes, not even a jar) of pataks tikka masala.

i mean it tasted ok, but i find it difficult to deal with my lack of commitment to the kitchen at the moment. and this is my problem. although my office is actually a kitchen. i think it actually depresses me to see the ample space at my work kitchen compared to the hidey-hole at home

so in an attempt to redeem myself to the culinary world here are some things i know about curry.

1) theory is that curries were developed in warmer countries (india, thailand, mexico) because meats and the like were more inclined to go "turn" in warmer climates. to mask the rancid meats intense spices were used.

what better to overpower a maggoty piece of meat than by overloading it with chilli. personally i think that people used what was available to them in the area, which so happened to be spices that make up a curry and used them because it tasted good. what would i know though?

2) indian curries are more your spice type of curry. dried ingredients made into a blend, usually hot, bitter and fragrant.

asian curries tend to be a little more "balanced". it's a combo of sweet, sour, bitter and heat.

mexican's are mad for chilli's all are tops in my book.

3) if it's too hot you need a dairy product in your mouth stat. the hot part of the chilli is the oil. water and oil don't mix (it's just like chalk and cheese), so the water will just runith over.

you need something with a bit of protein in it like dairy or bread or... like we need an excuse... beer. (coopers red is going to be a winner as it hasn't been flocculated and still has a lot of sediment in it), so that the oily hotness will attach to something other than your tongue will wash away.

4) my dad has a company that makes curries. they're good and i'm eire to the curry throne *insert ring of fire joke*. buy them. they live in coles. if they're not there ask them to get them.

crap... now it looks like this is a shameless promotion for my dad's world of curry, when really it just started out as me rambling about my dinner.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Out of the Closet

well now you know, well at least some of you know.

i wanted to be an annonimous blogger and in the minds and hearts of other bloggers be a superstar. but c'mon let's be realistic here i'm not, nor shall i ever be ms fits. and i'm a food technologist, not a hot, sassy writer. there're no go-go boots in this lab, just me in my white coat.

so anyone want to know anything about food science? coz i know it, or at least can look it up with reliable resources.

so stay tuned for interesting bits in my life and food...

Friday, October 22, 2004

Stuff I think is Rad


I love, love, love this band. i'd marry all of them one by one if it were legal. and they'd want to marry me too. screw legalities.
there's something weird about telling people what bands are your favourites. i much prefer to tell people the last 3 cd's i bought (or the 3 i'm about to buy - pay day dependent). i understand it. i won't deal with people (and by people i mean possible love interests) unless i know they's in the know with my music.

anyway check 'em if you don't know 'em.

Stuff you should know about them:
They don't like to be compared to Joy Division, so don't do it.
Last part of the 1st album = gold; First part of the 2nd album = just as much gold.
apparently they're not *trying* to have an image, they just do. either that or there publicists told them to say that.

Fee B-Squared

I know it's a little sick to want to be a person. and if it should ever come about that this gets back to Fee then rest assured it's all about the fact that i think you're the coolest person eva. i don't want to steal your undies off the line. just think everything that comes out of your mouth is pure genius.

The word pleb. it has a little, as the french would say... i do not know what.

* there's other stuff. i'm fickle, it'll change.

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Carbs are Great. Get Stuffed Dr. Atkins

Oh so sweet a recipe. oh so good to clean up...

What you need
pasta - whatever you like, i prefer penne
1 fresh chilli finely chopped
1/2 lemon - zest and juice
1 fresh garlic clove
1 small tin of tuna in oil

Before you start
this may be the easiest recipe in the world, but don't by crap. that means no garlic from jars, no lemon juice from the fridge, no dried chilli and no crappy 2 cent tuna... and for god's sake get the tuna with the oil.

Do it... do it now
(it's best to say that last sub-heading in an Arnold Swartzenegger voice)
Put heaps of water in the pot. boil it. salt it (after boiling... adding salt beforehand will increase the time it takes to heat the water up because you've changed it from water to a saline solution. it has to do with ions and stuff)

add pasta

chop garlic and chilli into itsy pieces

cut the lemon in half. shave off a thumb size piece of lemon zest. on pith, too bitter. chop it.
there is a method to doing the lemon last. it'll get rid of the heat from the chilli (most, still wouldn't touch your pink bits before washing your hands) and will stop you smelling like garlic for the rest of the week.

when the pasta is cooked... drain and squeeze the lemon juice over the pasta.

in the same pot tip in half the oil from the tuna. add garlic and shake it all about. do the hokey pokey and add the chilli, lemon zest and tuna, just enough to warm through.

chuck pasta in. stir it around.

put heaps of parmasan/romano cheese and black pepper on top.

it's also good with a handful of parsley chopped up and mixed in.

eat. eat. eat
oh so good, cheap and easy. mwa, bellisimo

Excuse me Mr Tanner

i've got to say i feel a little used. a little like i met a hot guy at cherry and we pashed on the dance floor. he told me my skirt was pretty and that we could go back to his place and watch the Ricky Gervais Live dvd. but in the end he just wanted to get off and leave you at the door. if you were a little cuter Mr. Tanner i would have forgiven you.

i put my faith in you. i voted for you because you told me that you'd be there. maybe not in those words, but i thought we had a future together. don't be a sore loser. you can't play the game and then when the other team kicks the golden goal say, "doesn't count. i gave up ages ago, i just haven't told you yet. Barley! Barley!"

why are you giving up on mark? he's a good bloke, he's not going to bullshit you. don't jump off the bandwagon now. what will everyone think? us lefties need to be stroked like a kitten, not kicked in the guts like a mangey tom cat.

band together... we've got three years to do this, let's start off on the left foot.

in other news:
i've got the cutest kitten alive. stay tuned for ultra-sickening-cute pictures (as soon as i can work out how to do that)

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Bench Trail #2*

this strikes me as a fantastic method to let my egotistical juices flow. egotistical? Yes, that's right. i freely admit that i'll take the biggest portion size if i'm hungry (and fuck it, i'm the one most likely to have prepared it).

i was once berated after palming off the warm beer to a friend while keeping the freeze-your-back-teeth beer for myself. what am i... mental? as if i want to walk over to the bar, walk back and hand over the cool brew lessening my nights enjoyment by drinking the warm devils beer.

should i really have begun my brand spankin' blogspot when i'm menstruating and wearing my bitch hat (it is spring carnival after all)? at least, cindi lauper, you'll see my true colours shining through.

*this really is my second attempt, the first one is lost in cyberspace. let it be known i am a moron when it comes to computers. it's all about food glorious food (but mostly me), so fuck the computer.